On Tractors and Blowing up Groundhogs
Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 5:41PM 
So, my life is a little busy. Studio business, 10-12 hours a day. Plus work at Enterprise Saint John. And (naturally) stress builds (just a little bit) sometimes. And I get (a little bit) grumpy.
Luckily I have a nutjob family to help me de-stress.
Case-in-point no. 1: My old man has a tractor. And not just any tractor. This thing is ANCIENT. So ancient there is a crank in the front to start it up. Like a Model T. So old it belonged to my old man's GRANDPARENTS. It has been kicking around our garage for fifteen-odd years and hasn't been working since I was five. A spindly, putt-putting, three-mile-an-hour piece of red farm equipment. That is now located smack-dab in the middle of the city. And one night a few weeks ago, on our front lawn. The expression on the faces of our neighbours was a mixture of confused befuddlement and/or bemusement at my Dad's (latest) antics.
I only stalled it once. Then he chased me off. I think I was a better driver when I was five.
Case-in-point no. 2: My Dad told me today that he was discovered a groundhog living in the woodpile. Awww, I exclaimed - the idea of a lone, stranded groundhog conjuring up images of botched attempts of pet adoptions a-la-Charlotte's-Web from my youth. So, I ask my old man, what are you going to do with it? Can it just live there? - a question which my Dad considers for all of two seconds before deciding:
'I'm going to shoot it.'
Nice. While the idea of blowing up a groundhog is mildly entertaining, I doubt the neighbours will respond favourably to my old man hovering over the woodpile with a two-barrel shotgun.
Of course, our lack of gun being a major impediment to the old man's plan, I doubt that we'll be blowing up any rodents over the coming days. Maybe he'll happen to run over it with the tractor.
blowing up groundhogs, tractors in Stories
Reader Comments (3)
My dad's method of furry friend removal used to be to live trap them and then release them somewhere on the other side of the river (which involved about 30 min of driving, just to be thorough). There was that time he got a skunk instead of the squirrel though.
If you like, I can check with my dad and see about borrowing his box-trap. He has removed more raccoons than I can count!
Adam, I don't think live-trapping has the same appeal for Dad as death-by-trapping. Although I would laugh if he got stuck with a skunk. ;)
Greg, ditto. I'm pretty sure Dad is more about complete obliteration than removal. I will pass on these humane suggestions though. :)